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Joshua

Suspended. And in Suspense

Isaiah 40:31

but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.

Many things in life, especially those things of greatest value, come with a great amount of difficulty. In relationships, in business, in spiritual matters, and in family matters I have faced many difficult tasks. Some seemed insurmountable. In many circumstances the completely blurred nature of the future holdings often protected me from my self-centered myopathy. Of all the things that have come into and out of my life, waiting on God has been one of the most challenging, arduous, frustrating, confusing and loneliest yet often most rewarding things I have ever done.

This journey began years ago. Doors opened. Doors closed. Opportunities came. Opportunities went. Over and over again, the answer I received to my desire to pursue a new path in life was, “Not at this time…” At times that voice was clearly the voice of God. Other times it sounded suspiciously like my wife. It came from friends, family and church leaderships.

"Wait!"

There was the occasional nudge along a path when the response came back, “Go! But not too far…” As if that is the answer I wanted to hear. My desire was godly. My motives were pure. My calling was clear … at least to me. I was confident in that calling and the gifts God had given to me. I knew there was more I had to offer the Kingdom.

The path is lonely. Especially so when the command to go rips you out a life of comfort and complacence. Especially so when you find yourself far removed from friends an family that had provided you a home for so long. Especially so when your family is uprooted and tries to become grafted into a new community of faith and friends.

It is like a spider suspended down into a room teeming with life yet alone. Suspended by the thinnest line of silk, it is anchored solidly while given to the influences of the surrounding environment. And so he begins to spin a web by setting anchor points only to see them severed. And the suspense returns. He is surrounded by all kinds of life and activity. Each event in the room affects the suspended spider as the currents displace him from one position to the next. He searches for stability, a place to light, where he may fulfill the thing he has been created to do best - spin a web.

And here I am. Suspended. And in suspense. Anchored by what seems to be the thinnest of strands in the Will of the Creator. Waiting on the call of the Faithful Father whose promises of provision never fail.

There is reason to hope, yet I fear to hope yet again. Hope turns to disappointment. Promise to mirage. Excitement to frustration.

And there is a realization that man’s confidence is a stumbling block. That God can use me best in my brokenness. And yet I feel broken enough. How much work is left to do on this hard heart of mine? Quite a bit, I fear.

I feel his shield of protection around me. I feel the hammering of his mallet on my soul. I feel the angst of the responsibility to provide for the treasures he has gifted to me. I feel the gnawing pain of uncertainty in my gut. He has never let me down before. I have no reason to believe it will ever be any different. 

Psalm 30:10-12

Lord, listen and be gracious to me; Lord, be my helper.”You turned my lament into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, so that I can sing to You and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise You forever.

Harmonizing the Dissonance

Christmas decorations are out in many places where you look. For a while now (some places as long as a month or more) fir trees, colorful lights, fragile ornaments and pristine nativity scenes have graced the aisles alongside the red and green wrappers and peppermint flavors that make their annual appearance. In the past, I have been the guy that looked with disdain on such things. Never – ever – would Christmas decorations be seen in my house before Thanksgiving. I always thought it was such an “UnChristmas” thing to do to wash over what, in my mind, was the most precious holiday of the year – Thanksgiving. Not only was it unChristmas to me, it was unChristian. There was in my mind, a severe dissonance between these two holidays that I struggled to harmonize in my home.

We are exhorted over and again in scripture to live thankful lives

Ephesians 5:19-20

Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything,

Colossians 2:6-7

"6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, 7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."

Colossians 3:15

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

Hebrews 12:28

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe,"

And there are others. While at its idealistic core, we celebrate Jesus on Christmas, Thanksgiving seems to fall perfectly in line with our attempt to live Christian lives. No gifts. No materialistic thoughts. No lists. Just a spirit of thanksgiving. A focus on other people. An awareness of the many material blessings we take for granted in every other season of life. As a Christian, Thanksgiving is my favorite, yet often most convicting, holiday. I am reminded every year that I need to live a life of thankfulness. I am reminded that every day should begin, end, and be filled throughout the middle with an attitude of thanksgiving. I am reminded that I live life completely unaware of what I have because I am continually focused on what I lack.

I do enjoy Christmas, too. It makes my heart glad to hear songs about Mary and the Christ-child. I enjoy seeing the nativity scenes and hearing people talking about Jesus. This year I am one of those guys. I was reminded by a Compadre of mine that Christmas and Thanksgiving should go hand in hand. What greater gift do we have to be thankful for other than the gift of a Savior, of a Redeemer, of the Son of God who would come into this world and give his life that I might live?

So Christmas is in full swing at our house. The trees are up, the lights are on, the wreaths are changed, and the music is blaring; Not because we are skipping Thanksgiving, but because we are thankful for the Messiah above all things. We are thankful that our God created a plan of salvation for his people so that we could live in this life with the hope of a reunion with Him in the next. We eagerly await the coming of the Messiah to take us home to be with the Father in glory. In this season, while we await his second coming, we will celebrate his first, and we will live differently in the span between them.

May the grace and peace of our God and Savior be with you in all seasons.

WORDS

So I have had this song in my head for about four days straight, now

Words, by Hawk Nelson

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

It made me start thinking this morning about the power our words have both on those around us as well as on our own disposition. We are often so careful about what we say, when and where we say it, and to whom we say it to. But then other times, our words are carelessly strewn about. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" may be the biggest lie we tell as little children (or as adults for that matter). The fact is, "words can kill me!"

It seems a little dramatic, but look around you today. Watch the child's spirit crushed by the il-chosen words of a distracted or short-tempered "caregiver". Please don't hear me relinquishing myself of any responsibility here. I believe there is a purpose for this particular earworm in my own life. I tell my children time and time again to mind their words. Speak to each other with respect and love. Watch your tone when you are talking to me. But the instruction seems to fall on deaf ears. Where could they possibly be learning such behavior?

James 3 has some powerful words to say in this arena. This is my mission today, and every day; I will be intentional with my words. I will strive to have everything that comes out of my mouth point to my God and my King. I pray my words will be true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind. Will you join me?

I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

Let the words I say
Be the sound of Your grace
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

I wanna speak Your love
Not just another noise
Oh, I wanna be Your light
I wanna be Your voice

First Responders

It is human nature, I suppose, to become reflective in moments of trial and tragedy. The brevity of life becomes far too real. As James says in James 4:13-15,

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit'; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.'"

The unjust nature of an imperfectly sinful world sprints to the forefront of our thought as innocent people are injured and young children are ripped from this life and on to the next leaving friends, family, and strangers to grieve the loss. So many times the question surrounding such a vile and evil act quickly turns to the church and those who know the Creator, "Where is your God, now? How can a God who claims to be so loving allow something so cruel, evil, and unjust like this occur."

It is the EMTs, the Firemen, and the Police that are often first to respond, and well they should be. But the church, the true church (that's you and me), should be among the first responders as well. It is an encouragement to me to see the response of so many who band together and show a pure side of humanity

I Peter 3:15 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;"

The hope that we have is of great value and it should be made known. We do not have to defend our God! In fact, there really is nothing to defend. "If God were a just God, or a loving God..." The fact is, God IS a loving and just God. It is his justice that prevents him from stepping in and making all things perfect (that time will come). He has promised that all men would be free to choose whom they will be subject to. He created a free-will trust relationship, not mindless robots that blindly do what is right. He wants his people to look at the choices in front of them and choose Him. Evil exists. There is simply no way around it. It hurts, and it isn't fair. But it is always there. And until the day comes when all creation will be restored to the One who made it all, the pain and grief will persist. The pain can drive you closer to God or farther away, it is a choice we must make. Will we be reminded of a time that is yet to come where there will be no night, mourning, tears, pain or death? Or will we choose to selfishly dwell in the here and now allowing the pain to push away from God's presence?

I know where God was. He was here. He knows the pain and heartache of loss, the loneliness of abandonment, the grief of being hated by the world around him, and the physical pain of abuse. He also knows the pain of being separated from the Father. I know where God was; he WAS on a cross. More importantly, though, I know where God is. He is preparing a place for his children. He is preparing a feast like none this world will ever see. He is looking over his creation and longing for them to come to him. He is awaiting the time when he can call us all home to him in glory; into a perfect creation that will never tarnish. And he is walking among us now, waging war on evil and fighting for each and every one of his creations. He is on his throne. As evil as this world can seem at times, I know the truth. God Reigns Victorious. He has defeated death. There is no victory that he has not claimed. The pain and agony we experience in this world should be a reminder to us that we are not home, yet, and there is so much hope and anticipation for those who have entered in to his grace.

I pray that the hope and love of the church will overflow into the streets of Boston today. I pray that an equal amount will flow into your own communities, neighborhoods, and workplaces as well. May the voice of the church, the people of God, ring louder than the voices of evil in this world. May the message of hope be delivered to those who are seeking it. May we live lives filled with a hope that calls people to our God

Is There Rejoicing?

As Christians, what do we do with the death of one of the most prominent leaders of evil forces in the world today? What is the appropriate response as people living in a world changed by his action, as people who lost loved ones and friends by his hand, as people who have lost loved ones and friends by his military, as followers of the Almighty God, or as those whose lives have been changed by the Risen Savior.

“Osama Bin Laden has been killed by US Navy Seals! His body is in possession of the US military.” That was the report. My first reaction was satisfaction… I don’t know if joy really describes it, but it was definitely a positive reaction. I was quickly reminded of the instruction from Jesus in the sermon on the mount.

Matthew 5.43-48
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

But, surely Osama was far more than an enemy. He was moving about the world breathing murderous threats against the west due in a large part to their Christian perspective and the perceived threat to the way of life that his religious thought called for. He was single-handedly responsible for taking the lives of thousands of people across the world. His face would likely appear on the Mount Rushmore of evil powers. Once again I am reminded of the words of Jesus, this time as he looked down from the cross. Were not the soldiers who drove nails in his feet and hands and beat him within an inch of his life more than simply enemies? As Jesus looked down and asked God for their forgiveness, he acknowledged that His sacrifice was even for those who took his life and were the source of his agony. Is it possible that my extreme view of Osama Bin Laden has served as a reprieve for unchristian thinking? More than possible, it is likely that is the case.

I am also reminded of another who went around the world breathing murderous threats against Christ and killing his followers. This man, though, repented and turned from his ways to become a mighty warrior FOR the Kingdom as opposed to against it. I think it is important to acknowledge the justice that is God’s. I think it is equally important to acknowledge the sadness that comes to the father when one is lost. I Tim. 2.4 says that he wants all to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth. It is easy for my heart to be hardened and calloused when there is so much evil in the world. I pray that I may be able to properly balance a soft heart full of the love of Christ, an intolerance for evil, thanksgiving for the closure that many now have, rejoicing in the justice of the Almighty God, and the kind of forgiveness His sacrifice obligates me to.

As children of God, we are called to love as Christ loves us. Loving those who stand in opposition to us is what sets us apart - or makes us holy. I fear much of my response leaves me in a place no different from the rest of the world. In our love we are called to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect. It is a struggle daily. Today, though, more than others, the struggle is great. May the God of peace be with you today. May His love be rich within you and beam out into the world of darkness.

I pray God's protection be on all those who continue to fight across the world for freedoms that we enjoy at home. I pray that this event may facilitate some closure to the war in this part of the world. I pray that our loved ones may soon be able to return home to their families, I pray that this will have a positive effect on situations across the world. I pray that our men and women be protected against any backlash that may arise in the coming days.

Peace <><
Joshua Fowler

43/46 Home Stretch

Easter falls right in line with the timing I need to gain some sustenance (the physical kind) for finals. 3 more days to go and this chapter will be closed only to be read over and over again. I am thankful to my God for the blessing of the breath of life and the constant provision and guidance He offers. I am thankful for friends who have supported me with prayer and words of encouragement. I am grateful to my lovely wife and kids who have dwelt with an often cranky father and husband. I must offer an apology to my professors who have very likely been delivered some work that is much lacking due to a brain-flow issue over the last several weeks. I feel healthier than I have been in years and covet your prayers for continued success as I attempt to maintain proper habits regarding food. It will be interesting to see how my body adapts to "regular" eating. I suppose that word has taken on a much newer meaning for me.

This summer will be a "good" test. I will be on my own for 12 weeks and on the go trying to keep up with a bunch of teens. The discipline of planning and preparing foods will be difficult for my wife to manage from so far away, but I am sure she will figure out a way to get my lunches ready along with her own and the 10-13 kids that will be in and out of the house daily. I love being married to Wonder Woman. (She doesn't wear her cape, boots and tights much, though.)

May the peace of God which transcends all understanding guard your minds and hearts in Christ Jesus. Happy Resurrection Day! May your week be filled with thoughts of our Risen Savior, memories of His sacrifice, chocolate bunnies and colorful eggs hidden in awkward places.

Peace <><
Josh

37/48 Pressing On With Character

What is character? You can give a photo character by adjusting tones, highlights, or lowlights and maybe changing perspective, but we don't seem to look at a plain, straight-forward picture of what is seen every day as 'character'. Something needs to be changed, modified, magnified or altered completely in order to be described as having character.



Someone who is funny or quirky or down-right weird is often referred to as a character. When things are going tough, we always say, "It'll be all right, that builds character." But what is it about those times that actually build character? What is the character we are trying to build? As ministers and Christians, what is our character supposed to look like?



There should be something within a Christian that is altered, changed, completely transformed from the shape it once was that builds character. The life-changing event that is the death, burial and resurrection of our Savior both magnifies and hides our sin... better yet, removes our sin. The cross, the suffering of a faithful redeemer, bring to light the times I fall short and fail to meet the expected standard of God's holy people. The empty tomb brings to light the hope with which we live as we serve a God who has conquered death and has risen never to die again. He has promised us that same resurrection. The penalty that he accepted for all of my "falling shorts" : ) is a humble reminder that my God has made it possible for me to stand in His presence blameless and pure.



Christ has brought His people into photoshop and adjusted the "red curve" to maximum and somehow that brings us out looking radiantly white, pure as the driven snow, and so bright and blown out that it doesn't make sense... and it gives us character. The cross molds us and shapes us into something new, altered, with a different perspective, and totally and completely changed.

As minister's of the gospel, that character is exaggerated, magnified, and scrutinized. As those who are called to accept a role as a spokesman for God and representative of the church to the church and to the community, I think it is important that we accept such scrutiny. As Christians and children of God, we should cherish it as well because of what it means we have a hope for.

My journey of late has definitely been a "character-building" journey. Less than 9 days to go to bring my journey to completion. My fatigue has been better, and so has my train of thought. I have lost over 30 pounds, but the weight loss has slowed dramatically over the last week. I think that my body might be wondering what is going on. I am eager to get back in to a routine that most would consider "normal." I am eager to see how difficult it is to continue to create new and healthier habits. I am eager to see how easily it will be to maintain the new mindset I have created. I know that God is faithful. I know He is in control. I am thankful for the reminders (the gentle ones and the not-so-gentle ones) that the only thing in my life exhibiting any control will be Him and His Will.

27/46 Course Adjustment

So, I was sitting at the dinner table with my family this evening and I was thinking to myself, "Self, you have done well. You have exhibited an ability to control your own food intake and have created some good new eating habits. You have accomplished your goal. Now go eat some of that amazingly good-smelling homemade stromboli." After all, I am not really bound by the "lenten process." There is nothing special about the 46 days between Ash Wednesday and Holy Saturday. If I were to stop today and resume life as normal, most wouldn't know or care. The ones who would care would certainly understand and agree. My intention has been realized and it could be called a success.



But I have resolved to find a resting place among the thorns. While the main thrust of this initiative would have been "officially" met, There is something to the completion of a time table. My eating (on Sundays) has certainly been much more disciplined, and my desire to eat simply because food is available is no longer present... Even food that I "love". I am acutely aware of all the poor habits I was n and have made habits of controlling for myself what I will consume. Part of my goal, however, was the completion of a time period... a fast of forty days.



So, I have made a decision to adjust my sights on a new goal. I have made many excuses in the past to move on to something new when what has already been started is not quite complete. I have made a habit of starting something of great value, proving that I have the ability to do something, and then moving on to a new challenge. I resolve to finish what I have started. This will not be a time where one excuse or another will allow me to cut short the commitment I have made to myself. Now that I have created a sense of control over food, I will devote these last 19 days to finishing that which has been started. (I am sure my beautiful bride will be ecstatic if I may have similar success.) Here's to new heights and new goals to reach.

The Gift of Prophecy

Maybe, there are some aspects of "prophecy" that are not still hanging around today as they once were. It would be a very intriguing thing to be able to tell you that I had discovered the gift of knowing the things that were to come. I can imagine that would be quite a special feat. While prophets certainly did some of these things, this is traditionally where we cease and desist our growth in understanding the nature of prophets and prophecy. with that (mis)understanding of who the prophets of our history were, viewing a minister of the church as a prophet seems foreign.

The minister as prophet is a pivotal trait in their character. The prophets did so much more than predict the future. While this was at some point a part of the warning brought to the people, it was a small portion of their mission. As a general rule, the prophet was one who brought a word of warning to the people from God. The prophet was the one who came to say God says, "Change what you are doing... or else!" Unfortunately, it is the "or else" that we get hung up on. The fact is, as ministers, we are often called to bring a word of judgment from the Lord to His people so that we, as His people, may maintain a relationship between the lives that we lead and the will of the Father.

This responsibility should not be taken lightly or abused. We must work to develop the kinds of relationships with those we are called to minister to that are firmly rooted in love and respect. In order for messages such as these to be received well and taken to heart in such a way as to promote positive spiritual change and reflection as opposed to defensive bitterness, they must be delivered from a basis of trust and sincerity. I pray that I may take this responsibility earnestly. I pray that my God will continue to use me as a tool to bring His Word to His people in truth and love. I pray that I have the courage to deliver these words even when they cut the hearts of myself or others.

22/46 Big Steps on a Long Journey

The journey continues. Like herding cattle on the trails through the Old West, there are trials and triumphs along the way. We encounter moments where we find success and moments where we find obstacles that try to prevent us from achieving the goal that lies ahead. Sundays have most definitely been bright spots... victories if you will... along the journey I have undertaken. This last Sunday, however, seemed to be more of a Monday hindrance than a Sunday delight. Monday was the most difficult Monday so far. Today was the first time since the beginning that I have felt a real break through, mentally. Saturday was a good step also. At the ballpark playing baseball, sunflower seeds, ballpark hot dogs and nachos just seem to fall hand in hand. While buying snacks for the boys, it wasn't easy to refuse the treats for me... until I saw the price tag. They weren't so enticing any more. Today on the other hand, was a different story. I was called to minister to a friend in a time of crisis. He needed an ear and a word of advice. Why not Starbucks (since there is no Scooters Coffehouse here...)? I mean there is nothing like a $5 cup of coffee to get people to open up. On the way there, he had mentioned that he had not eaten lunch or breakfast. It was now 2:30 pm. So we pulled up to McDonald's and went inside. I figured I could spend $5 on his coffee or $5 on a meal. Inside was the challenge. The $1.00 menu. I am embarrassed to say how difficult it was to stand there and order a meal for him without getting anything for myself. No McDouble, no small fry but I refrained and felt good about it. I walked away from Mickey D's feeling a sense of accomplishment and gaining a realization that my mindset regarding my food consumption is changing. Praise God! I know it has been only through prayer and meditation on the Bread of Life and the Living Water that has sustained me in this process.



I have lost 24 pounds. This morning I weighed in at 210 lbs. I haven't been this size since Heather was pregnant with Dylan 7 years ago. My thought processes and train of thought is still not what it used to be, but it is getting better. I think my metabolism may be slowing considerably as I have been cold for 5 days straight. granted it has been cold for 5 days, but I usually thrive in such conditions. Today, even in a room that was 72 degrees, I was still chilled to the bone. I guess now I know how my wife feels ALL THE TIME (love you baby!). All in all, I feel great about the place God is leading me to. I think I will be better equipped to serve in His Kingdom by not allowing anything except my Savior, my God, and His Holy Spirit to exhibit any form of control in my life.

Thank you to all of you who have offered prayer and support during this journey. 24 days to go. I have never looked forward to Easter as much as I do this year. I am eager to look back and see where this journey takes me.

17 Down/29 to Go

So, I am over 2 weeks in. I am thankful for all of the prayers and words of encouragement. I have been very successful in achieving the goals I set out to achieve. If I made the decision to "cease and desist" today, while I would be disappointed, I do think that I would have a chance to continue good, solid, and healthier eating habits. Even when I give myself permission to eat on Sundays and Wed night, I am careful about the amount and kinds of food that I eat. The imminent feeling of disappointment is one of the things that keeps me going. There is much in life that I start and almost finish. This has become for me a secondary goal to attain in the end - the ability to press on beyond the mundane, boring, obstacles that are placed in my mind that derail my plans and to demonstrate the ability to maintain focus.

I have become keenly aware of the fact that we seemingly eat at every juncture. Any time we get together, the question arrises, "What do you want me to bring?" This has been some of the most difficult times for me in the past, but I can already see a difference in my mindset in situations such as these. I am thankful for fellowship of friends and family. I will also be far more cognizant of this fact in the future. The difficulty (at least for me) is the lack of structure in these eating times. Food is laid out and left out for people to come by and snack on. We have decided, in our house to have eating time and time to stop eating. Food is out away. This goes for snack time also. I think this will be a habit we continue after this journey has been completed.

The next four weeks will be devoted to meditation. I have spent the last two weeks in scripture reading and prayer which has been a help beyond anything I imagined. I think that working to improve the art of meditation will do many things in many areas of life. The calming effect and focus that meditation instills will be a benefit in personal, professional, spiritual, and family matters.

9/46 Concessions

So, I decided last night that sometimes one must make some concessions in order to find a measure of success. I have decided that Wednesdays will offer a small evening meal in order to help make it through the week. I feel much more confident in my ability to choose what I will and will not eat. I have lost 12 pounds in 9 days. I have found it very interesting that the only time I have actually felt hungry has been when something is cooking. Other than that, it has only been fatigue (and crankiness according to my bride).

I would write more, but apparently my train of thought has been also affected...

5/46 Renewed

5 days down and 41 to go. Today was a good day. Much needed moisture is falling down around town relieving firefighters if only for a short time, it has been another glorious day to worship the Lord, my sins have been forgiven, my God reigns victorious over the forces of evil in the world, and food was placed in front of me for the first time in 4 days.

I must confess, last night I ate a taco. Heather had made tacos for the kids at lunch. I had resisted and they smelled very tempting. Having several kids over at the house, we decided to get pizza. There was a spread of pizza and Crazy Bread and soda for several hours, and I resisted. But at 9:00 as I was cleaning up the kitchen I opened the crock pot and couldn’t resist the urge. I ate a taco.

Well, I made it to the first of 6 Sundays and I was looking forward to eating. I wanted something light for breakfast, so I toasted a couple of mini bagels and light cream cheese and added a small glass of milk. I very quickly resented the glass of milk. Surprisingly, the kids chose Mazzio’s for lunch – their buffet is pretty much a win all the way around. Heather can eat pizza toppings (no gluten), the kids eat all the pizza they want, and I get to eat a decent salad from the salad bar. It is a little more expensive than CiCi’s but they serve actual pizza and have more than 3 items on the salad bar. 2 pieces of pizza, one small salad, 3 small bread sticks, and 1 glass of unsweetened iced tea.

I was surprised, during 4 days of fasting the only time I felt hungry was when something was cooking. I feel confident that this week will be the same. I am thankful for my God who gives us everything we need. I am thankful for His Word, which teaches us the way to live for Him. I am thankful for His Spirit, which guides us and speaks to our hearts. And I am thankful for His Son, my Savior, who gave His life that I may live eternally. Now, I feel refreshed, renewed, and rejuvenated; ready to start the week.

May the Peace of God be with us all,

Peace <><
Joshua Fowler

3/46 I May Be Addicted

Food will have no control over any part of my life. I will be controlled only by the will of the Almighty God and motivated only by His love and saving grace.

So I have discovered, I might have a problem... Driving by McD's today, I actually found myself struggling mightily not to turn in and grab a McDouble. There were four quarters and a dime conveniently placed in the door pull of my truck. It was difficult not to stop for a quick bite of weirdly addictive, sub par, soy and filler hamburger "meat". I wasn't even really hungry, surprisingly but the pull was heavy. I pressed on and resisted the urge to stop there or at the Wendy's, Taco Bell, Bueno, A and W, KFC, or Burger King... all of which would have provided some quasi-tasty relief for about a dollar.

John 4.31-34

Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?” “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work..."

2/46 "I Graze"

I don't know if this is an appropriate realm for reflection on such matters. I know as a general rule, disciplines such as these should be done in private. However, I need the accountability to help me to conquer what I feel is a stumbling block in my life. I have frequently set out to do things better in my diet and frequently came up with convenient excuses to absolve those commitments. Much of that absolution comes from a lack of accountability. So, that being said, I document the following journey, not in order to draw praise from men or to set myself on a plane higher than others, but to set myself in front of men (or women) that may hold me accountable for the choices I will make over the coming weeks.

Food will maintain no control in my life. After only two days, bad habits are already becoming apparent. The habit most apparent today is my habit of grazing on food that may be lying around as I walk through the kitchen. Every day after school, the kids come home and get a snack. It happens every day like clockwork, we don't even think about it. Apparently, I do the same. While the kids were enjoying the beautiful sunshine and mid-afternoon feast of whales, cheese and crackers, grapes, applesauce, etc. I realized that I had walked by and grabbed a handful of whales and tossed them down the hatch. In fact, the realization didn't come to me until about an hour later when the heart burn set in. (Apparently a large handful of whales on a 2-day empty stomach don't mix well.) All that was spurned in me, then was a craving for more.

I wonder how many other things I do in my life that come as second nature but underhandedly and subtly pound at the infrastructure of the Godly father, husband, and friend I am wanting to be. I also wonder how many of those things do nothing but spurn me on to continue in what is undesirable while making the unwanted action less and less undesirable with each passing infraction. I pray for wisdom that only comes from God, a heart that is soft and receptive, and eyes that are wide open to see the places where my Savior has asked me to be different, to refrain from sidestepping those issues in my life, and to be aware of the guiding voice of the Spirit within.

Peace <><
Josh

Living Water

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4.13-14



Living water is better. Ask any Boy Scout or camping fanatic. Water that is running is cleaner and cooler than stagnant, "dead" water which is often full of scum and bacteria. But Jesus is talking about water that is even better than that. He says that the water He gives becomes its own source inside those who will receive it.



Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for many in Christendom. I have messed around with the Lenten experience in the past but really haven't stuck to too much. This year I am making a change. I have been keenly aware recently of how firm a grip food has on my life. Today is day 1 of 40 leading up to Holy Saturday, the day before Easter. The six Sundays are observed normally to celebrate the victory of our Savior in His resurrection. I will attempt to rely solely on water and the Living Water of the Word of God for sustenance. I solicit your prayers as I allow my Savior to be the only thing in my life that exhibits any resemblance of control in my life.

High and Mighty or Holy of Lowlies

“Preach on! Preacher.” To preach to a gathering of The Lord’s precious children is a humbling, awesome, thrilling, and frightful experience. To preach is to accept a most paradoxical position. “How am I, a mere man with flaws and downfalls just like everyone else gathered in any place, supposed to fill a role as the spokesman, mouth piece, prophet or messenger from Almighty God?” The sermon is indeed a crucial component in our worship. The moment where the word of God is handed down to His people through the tool we refer to as the preacher, pastor, minister, or you fill in the blank. There are a couple of mainstream models that we have come up with in an attempt to align two people in one – a sinful man and a medium for God’s Word. There are pros and cons with both.

In the “high church” model, a preacher may be in robes or in some other kind of ornamental attire set high above the congregation sometimes on a pedestal. It would be easy in this model for a minister in this position to feel elevated, separated, special, or set apart from the people. He may appear unapproachable by “common” Christians. However, donning and removing the robes may be a keenly observable way to separate the roles of a minister as “mouthpiece of God” and “caregiver for God’s church” (if such a distinction should be made). There are also times I question reverence with which we approach (or fail to approach) corporate worship. This model is generally better about drawing attention to the sacred nature of coming into the presence of God.

The “low church” model takes the opposite approach. The attempt here is to bring the preacher down to a level of equality with the church. Often a podium or pulpit is removed and at times even replaced by a coffee table. This model is generally good about focusing on the relational aspects of worship and the closeness with God that we have been given the privilege of experiencing. The minister is viewed in the same light as any other congregant. There may be a struggle in this kind of model in distinguishing between a fellow Christian interpreting scripture and a spokesman from God delivering a direct, convicting, and sometimes harsh Word from the Lord.

To preach or not to preach is not the question, but is a calling from God. It is a calling that must be taken seriously and with conviction by both the one in the pulpit and the ones in the pew. May we worship with possessed hearts, clear minds, and pure spirits so that our worship may be found acceptable to God and a pleasing aroma from His people.

Who Cares?

Does Jesus care? I know He cares. One of the most crucial aspects of ministry is caring for people. As a minister of the Gospel and to the church, we will encounter people in all of life’s transitions. Bringing the peace of God to people whose lives may be in pieces is an important way of ministering to those and sharing God’s love. There are times when we may find ourselves in a position to minister in a way that is unique and needed.

The nature of humanity, when things go wrong, is to ask, “Why?” The temptation for ministers is to attempt to come up with the answer to this question as well as a flood of others that come about. It is often simply the ministry of presence, support and encouragement that is most meaningful in times of need. We are called to rejoice together, grieve together, mourn together and weep together. Most of the time, people aren’t looking for the perfect word. A time will come later for making sense of things and for Theological discovery. Often, we should simply see a need and address it. The knowledge that the people of God are there to offer that support goes a long way. The overflow of love that abounds when we are doing God’s work for God’s children in times of need is a tool more powerful than we could ever imagine.

Tending the flock and keeping up with the health and well being of God’s children is a daunting task. It would be very easy to become wrapped up in helping others. After all, it is generally a love for people and a desire to help that calls us to ministry in the first place. We must not forget to tend to the flock that lives in our homes. We cannot cultivate and repair holy marriages if we have not done so with our own. We cannot mend family relations if we have refused to maintain our own. We must be focused on what God has entrusted to us in our immediate families as a launching point to addressing what God has entrusted to us in our church families.

Action or Image

Andre Agassi said, “Image is everything.” More recently, Kobe Bryant said, “Image is nothing. Thirst is everything. Obey your thirst.” I am pretty sure that Kobe would now say that image is not nothing. What we do and what we say does not seem to be nearly as important to the public as what it appears we said and did. It also seems that the media holds celebrities to a higher level of scrutiny. Every indiscretion and misstep is magnified, photographed, discussed, and solved in magazines and on television. However, the level of disappointment and dissatisfaction seems to be lacking. In fact, we are more surprised when a celebrity lives a clean life than when one falls into an abusive relationship with people, substances or indiscretions.

When it comes to people of “the cloth” – ministers – men and women who have chosen to work in the church as a profession, there seems to be a shift in the level of dismay. There is a greater expectation that comes with the scrutiny of the public eye. Unfortunately, the level of shock decreases with every man and woman directly affiliated with church leadership that takes a public hit. At first glance of such a sight, the immediate reaction is a feeling of unfair treatment. Why should I, as a minister in the church, be held to a different level of expectation than any other human that walks this Earth? I am, after all, just a human. I make mistakes like everyone else. People have to understand that. Contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. (Gasp, Look of shock, surprise and amazement!!)

But, alas, the public unknowingly expresses the same sentiment that God does. James 3.1 says that those who teach will be judged more strictly. Because of the position of leadership entrusted to us and the impact that we have on the paths of faith for those who trust in our teaching, we must be keenly aware of the image we are displaying. As a prophet of God, the mouthpiece of God or the face of the church (whether rightly or wrongly so, it is often the case)we must not only be aware of not only what we say and do, but what our actions and words appear to communicate to the public. There are many things that are not, in and of themselves wrong, but have to be avoided as a leader in God’s church because of the image it portrays and projects onto the church and the body of Christ. We must always be aware of the impact we have on the image the church we serve, the people who follow us, and what our actions say to those who trust in our choices and discretion.